Something that won't quite stay out of my mind at the moment was the recent documentary by the BBC on the couple of Swedish twins who ran out several times into oncomming traffic. The incident was caught on camera by a BBC camerman who was filming a series about policemen. The horrific footage gets shown again and again and again as you would expect. It makes me think because it was the first piece of footage I have seen since the famed september 11th attacks that has made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and made me feel utterly at a loss. With a range of media constantly bombarding our attention we become slightly immune to the usual horrors of the world. Some days I feel like everything is tameable, I can sit back and reason why things are so and things people do are predictable and mundane. This extends into Medicine as well and the great list of things to know and skills to have seems achievable. But then on others everything is in turmoil and I am reminded of every one of my weakness. How will I ever manage to make anything of myself when I'm nervous about phoning this person? How will I ever cope with responsibility if I just lost my phone charger? How will I ever get to understand any of this? Solice can then usually be found in the usual places; a good book, a nice piece of music, the company of good friends or even just the long walk through the old industrial areas of Leicester (I wouldn't recommend this if your particular fussed about scenery).
Another thing I've been mulling over is my complete an utter inability to do anything productive unless I'm already busy. I've had ages now to do so many things but because I don't have to do them, I'll leave them to a deadline.
Charlie Brooker on writing: http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2010/aug/16/charlie-brooker-writing-deadlines